I know that I’ve been gone for some time, but I have shaken off the carpel tunnel and writer’s block to get back to discussing hot topics. This week’s topic, inspired by Professor Annalise Keating (Viola Davis’ character in the hit new ABC show, “How to Get Away with Murder”), is privacy.
Just so that the readers who may not watch the show have a quick synopsis of why Davis’ character has helped shaped this piece, let me provide a brief recap. In the second episode of the first season, it was revealed that Professor Keating’s husband was the teacher of a murder victim. Keating’s suspicion of their relationship ultimately tempts her to search through his phone while he’s in the shower. She finds an email or text that leads her to SUSPECT they may have had a deeper relationship. They address the situation, and he tells her nothing was going on between him and the now dead student.
As a guy, we’re thinking it’s over, it has been addressed, and everything is all good, but no. Not the women. The husband makes her a romantic dinner, and things go smoothly. Or, so he believes. He walks away, and like a crack fiend going through withdrawal, she just couldn’t help but go through his phone again, only to see that the message had been deleted. She lies to get out of the house and away from her husband; he now has to enjoy a dinner alone and is left wondering, classic.
If I could insert an audio piece right here, I would, but all capital letters will have to suffice. STAY OUT OUR PHONES, DAMMIT! If you go looking for some sh*t, you are going to find some sh*t. There is no reason that as a grown a&% woman, you are going through a grown a&% man’s phone without his permission. Your insecurity and lack of trust in him will ultimately be the demise of the relationship, ESPECIALLY if he is being faithful. Y’all have a fire ass imagination, (hence, the success of Shonda Rhimes) and y’all can make a “hey, how are you?” text into a damn number one drama series, starring a wrongfully accused dude to be deemed “not sh*t” for no reason. If a dude is that sloppy and has incriminating evidence in his phone, he did not give a f*&k about you anyway. There is no need to get mad; just get your things and go. There are plenty of dudes that will respect you enough to be more discrete about their infidelities, I promise.
On the flipside, fellas, stop leaving your phone unlocked. The sh*t should be second nature to lock it. This is not even “you doing some foul sh*t” rule, but we are entitled to our own privacy. So, don’t just leave the door open for some bullsh*t to mess up your relationship. Every guy knows women can take the most harmless text and turn it into a mind-blowing headache. A female’s false accusation will have you in your thoughts thinking, “For all this, I should have just cheated. At least, it would be warranted.”
Technology has made it so hard for mistakes to transform into rebuilding and genuine growth. Nowadays, no one in the relationship can mess up and just be scorned by the person that was hurt and a close network of people that have genuine insight into the relationship; now, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and Vine, can get a piece of the action, too. It isn’t easy to just do right, I know. We all have temptation, and want our cake and it too. Things are constantly changing within a relationship, but, if you work to keep the communication open and genuinely take interest in your partner’s concerns and ideas, you’ll build a true foundation and discover an unmatched happiness.
Until next time, keep your finance and emotions in order.