Every woman has that really creepy dude that you accepted as a friend on Facebook. It started off as a simple friend request, but now he’s sending you messages, trying desperately to begin a conversation. He becomes really annoying, and although you ignore him, you begin to question if his behavior constitutes as sexual harassment. You even contemplate reporting him to the Facebook police, or anyone that could possibly help.
The truth is that there are a variety of creepy dudes roaming within the comfort of Facebook territory, and while they have different personalities, they possess similar behavioral patterns. It’s as if there’s a “creepy guy” group that exists, and it’s a special “invite, members only” organization.
Here’s a list of the top six creeps that women often find in our inboxes. With this list, I hope that I am able to help a creep identify himself, and stop immediately, or simply gain sympathy from men who have no idea of what we have to deal with as women.
1. “Mr. Thanks for the Add”
This guy may actually be attractive, but the “thanks for the add beautiful” makes him out to be really corny. There’s nothing particularly weird about this guy, it’s just annoying that he feels the need to send you a message following the friend request that HE sent you. Every woman has experienced this, and no woman has experienced it from a man she was actually interested in. If we were interested in you, you would get a message with a personal contact number. FYI.
Level of threat: low
2. “Mr. Always Online”
This guy is either unemployed or under the age of thirteen. Those are the only two options. He will ALWAYS notice when you’re online, and will almost immediately send you a message. The message will start off casual with a simple “hello,” but then he’ll start to throw in an occasional “hey beautiful.”
Level of threat: low
3. “Mr. Potential Serial Killer”
This guy is creepy from the start, and has a profile picture that will make you uncomfortable. He usually has a serious face in his profile, and about one or two photos of himself. The rest are of random memes and other weird photos, such as sexual positions. He is also the one that will ask you personal questions about where you live, work, etc.
Level of threat: HIGH
4. “Mr. Stalker”
This one is tricky, because he isn’t necessarily a stranger. Mr. Stalker could be a guy you met at a party or social gathering. He always starts off with a brief thank you for last night and/or meeting you. However, that quickly goes left field, when he constantly ends up in your inbox. He may even take it to the next level of creepy and pop up at a location or event that you’re attending.
Level of threat: Medium
5. “Mr. Disrespectful”
Every woman gets a good laugh out of Mr. Disrespectful. He always starts off really sweet with a “good morning”, or a “hello, how are you.” Even if you do not respond, he remains consistent, and you can even predict when you will get a message from this one. However, after five or more attempts, Mr. Disrespectful becomes Mr. Impatient, and then his true colors start to show.
He goes from 0 to 100 real quick, and goes from “good morning,” to “damn bitch, you could’ve at least said hey. Chicks don’t know how to take a damn compliment.” Not to mention the fact that he always wants some sort of explanation on why you haven’t responded, besides the simple fact that he is a stranger.
Level of threat: low
6. “Mr. Weirdo”
I always feel bad for Mr. Weirdo and want to know more about his life. Does he have friends? Does he often communicate with women? Is he a virgin? Regardless, Mr. Weirdo is always just plain ol’ weird. He will send you “hello” five times in a row, and when he doesn’t get a response he’ll change his approach, as if you somehow forgot that he was the weird guy sending you messages back to back.
Level of threat: High
Overall, there is a more serious issue that needs to be discussed here. The fact that women are constantly being preyed on whether it is in person or via social media. It’s one thing for a man to be interested, but it’s a different issue when a man believes that a woman warrants this type of harassment simply because of the fact that she has a vagina. It’s harassment period, and it makes us feel very uncomfortable if you haven’t already noticed.
If you’re interested in a chick make that clear in person, but first feel out her vibe and see if the energy is there for you to make a move in the first place. You can usually tell from her eyes, as there is a look that every woman gives. We know the look, and you should know it too. Facebook is never the appropriate way to make a move, unless you have already met in person and it’s a follow up. Either way, you’ll know if she’s interested or not.
Dear Men: Stay out of my inbox, oh and Happy Halloween.