#FindingMeBeforeHe: My Social Media Tragedy

http://jaleesalashay.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/social_media-1050x700.jpg

“Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back in silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation.”

~Jean Arp

Lost in the digital age…the new age of the plastic. Plastic cards, plastic bodies, plastic relationships, superficial existence…artificial lives that everyone believes to be true. We have traded our souls for the plastic life…

Barbie Doll Girl, Digital World

The picture perfect life with the absence of love, but I’m all that… Barbie doll in a plastic box or shall I say Barbie with a plastic box in hand. Oh yes. I forgot. You gotta keep it all together. Miss Independent. Miss Got-It-Like-That. But if the truth be told, there is another voice that cries out.. “I am afraid to tell anyone I am in love.. yet on Facebook my life is an open book… I am afraid to share that I want my love again.. I fear the judgment and the thieves… I fear the dram bandits. Those who will abort dreams of love and life before it is born…”

How do we operate fearing the accusations of human emotion? Something is wrong. Can’t we just live? Can we take risks and feel what we really feel? Who is watching? Why does loving have such a consequence? Ohhh there goes those negative thoughts… “Oh my past!” aaand “I just can’t” aaand “He’s not…” aaand “What will they say? What will they think?” Can I ask, Who are THEY??? Do you even know them??? Why is the implication of love shadowed by FEAR?

The strongest power has failed us. Can we bring forth a revival of love much deeper and far beyond the latest R&B single? CAN WE JUST STOP IN THE NAME OF LOVE? (Now that’s a single!) Can we STOP in the name of love for oneself. STOP and claim your right to love and be happy…Stop and think (without the I-Phone!) Miss Chloe’s thinking? It is normal to be happy, even to love… Don’t you dare let the ISSUES of plastic rob you! HAPPINESS SHOULD BE OUR GOAL NO MATTER WHAT ROAD YOU TAKE TO FIND IT…

Let’s face it. Social media has brought on a new level of ISSUES. That lovely irresistible bandit… That 3 out of 4 relationship basher. Yup. We have become restless and emotionless. Social Media enables us to become perfect liars to the world, our friends and ourselves. We can package ourselves superficially to the world and escape that naked soul in the mirror who tells the truth. THAT NAKED SOUL WHO LOVES AND WANTS TO BE LOVED… As we compromise our core values and beliefs (or fail to develop any at all…dang) we become hungry and blood thirsty for an “easy come up.” Nothing is driven by passion, faith, self-worth to someone whom we don’t know. They have become our inspiration and THINGS are now our idols. Our VOICE has turned into a TWEET that sounds something like:

 “It’s all good. He can miss me with that. New day. New me.”

Babygirl, what does that even mean???

BIG SISTER MOMENT: I just CAN’T!!!

I cannot get with…

1. Sub-tweeting your ex like it is really doing you or him any good

2. Stalking his new girl’s page comparing yourself to her – diminishing your royalty

3. You taking off your clothes, integrity and virtue to show him “What he’s missing out on,” Really? If he comes back, it will be just for dat…

4. Simple being, “Petty as heck!” BE A LADY! (IT still works!) Never let them see you sweat…Ne-verr

Learn from the teachings of your mother, grandmother, big and little sisters… KEEP YOUR BUSINESS CLOSE TO YOUR CHEST and think before you press SEND…

MY DIRECT MESSAGE

I left Spelman for a semester to live on a sailboat and research marine life in the Pacific Ocean for months! The best moments of my life were at sea. It gave me time to figure out who I was, and see a different side of life. I left the pain of my relationship, the scars and baggage all ashore. With no access to TV, phones, Internet or society for weeks and months at a time, I was so free…

After a month at sea with my hair mildly in dreads, skin sun kissed and a new perspective on life, I was so eager to see what my friends and family were up to back at home. At our first island stop I booted up my laptop and awaited the messages from my loved ones. Within 30 minutes, I allowed the bandit to take me back to a deep, dark, painful place…

….There she was, “posted” in my ex lover’s hat, the hat I wore with so much pride. That hat symbolized our relationship, I wore it so proudly across campus. Everyone know it was his-mine-us, it was my armor or so I thought. On the front it read, “OBEY” …Yes obey our love and our shared passion for each other. Why that hat out of them all? The anger that crept up my neck was as if Lucifer himself whispered “Embrace it and seek revenge.”

Rage.

How could I shake that hurt? While I was gone she wore my armor. Is this a joke? YES I KNOW THAT IT WAS COLLEGE LOVE BUT HURT IS HURT NO MATTER WHAT AGE. I felt like he took my ring and gave it to her as a peace offering…

What does this mean?

 Should I ‘like’ this pic?

 Who shall I blast first? 

Do not expect me to let this one go Lord 

It has gone too freaking far!

I will not be disrespected again…

Here on this beautiful island, this utopia; a place not even the wealthy had access to, I was sitting there boiling with fury, tears pricking my eyes and unable to unwilling to grasp the reality that glared at me. “I THINK I AM GOING TO BE SICK…” This was an intentional attack. This was left for me and all the public to see. A DISS. Now what??? Hear me…

“Close the laptop, now find Me…” 

Sweet whispers from the Most High guided my thoughts and unnatural movement, I closed my laptop and let it go… 

No revenge. No petty subliminal tweets. No posts and no pictures trying to prove my happiness. No reverse psychology type of desperation love. No. It took so much willpower, prayer, and even tears to let that one go. Trust me ladies, it is no easy task but the ball is always in your court. You hold the power and you can control what you allow to hurt you. THE BEST REVENGE IS TO LIVE, LOVE AND LAUGH AGAIN (Read the book!). The power of living and yes loving is one that no one can ever beat! It’s okay sis…Live for yourself and be thankful that you are free…

From that day on, life without that ISSUE got easier. I LEARNED TO L-I-G, LET IT GO. Mistakes happen, but like the waves of the ocean, we must keep moving…

~Chloe~




There are no comments

Add yours