A lot of us make decisions for ourselves and ourselves alone. It is easy to go through life and make decisions “just for me, me, me”, but what happens when you make a conscience decision to share your life with another person? The idea is that you start to take into consideration your actions because now, they directly affect another person.
There is this modern notion that if there is no ring on it, then, you are single. As true as that technically is, when dating someone there is still an air of expectancy to conduct yourself in a manner that reflects that you are seriously dating and respecting the individual you are dating. The choices you make do not have to make your life boring and less thrilling, but should show a genuine appreciation for the person who has opted to change their lifestyle to both accommodate and share with you.
Now, changing your lifestyle should not be too drastic because you should have gotten into the relationship seamlessly (you should be laughing here), and the removal of gray area has established exclusivity between the two of you. No matter how much you say, “I will not change because of him or her”, you inevitably will because if you seriously want that person in your life at that capacity, you will do what you need to do to keep them.
We are humans. We are meant to change and adapt. Every day, we make choices, and they slowly shape the person we are and will be in the future. Growth in a relationship does not come from being a perfect boyfriend/girlfriend it comes from making bad choices together, but being perfect at coming together and hashing those things out.
Now, by bad choices, I am not talking about cheating, domestic violence (verbal or physical), or anything else that can cause a drastic reaction from your significant other; more on the lines of hanging out with someone he or she does not like (maybe there is a past history there or just bad vibes), doing a little too much at a club or party, or just putting yourself in situations that may allow someone to think you are single.
I will close by touching on this; the choices that really doom a relationship are the ones that are made out of spite, jealousy, or gossip. It is a lot easier said than done, but doing something that disrespects or shames your significant other for whatever reason you think you can come up with is never the answer. Karma is real, and that bitch has the bite of a great white. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT let your nogood, single girlfriends influence your choices ladies, because, let’s face it, misery enjoys company. If she has been dumped by all of her ex’s, she is the common denominator. Gents, that goes for you, too. We can be savage and lead our man’s down that dark path. Let that man handle his, unless you know for sure that as a friend, you need to step in.
Until next time, keep your finances and emotions in order.