Welcome to “Finding Me Before He”

This series will be a Safe Haven for anyone who has felt that they lost themselves in a relationship. Some of us just lose ourselves to love like an outer body experience. You literally feel that everything you’ve ever believed that defines you just left. Emptiness… After the relationship ends, you realize, you got lost and you’re not quite sure how to find that person you once knew. Where is the map? 

I want to create an environment where you won’t feel ashamed… A safe place of healing with the realization that people do get hurt from relationships yet the focus is all about the recovery-making that comeback…  How will you comeback? 

This is not a “guy bashing” series! I believe that everyone needs and deserves someone… We are humans with souls-not cold, our hearts beat to the tempo of life and its abundance. Our blood still flows warm, rushing with emotions that drive us to a place.  Yes we do have feelings, desires. We need love…

My blog, my vessel of love to you will take you through the stages that I faced after my passionate, insane, twisted relationships in college came to an end. People often think of college love and relationships as mere “puppy love” but what many of us do not realize is that your first love in most cases significantly impacts and determines how you interact in all of your future relationships. 

Life happens. Bitter and sweet, I’ve been there… Yet after seeing my recovery and absolute refusal to let myself go, many of my friends and family asked me, How did you get over it?  How did you stop yourself from falling? How are you still able to love? I didn’t like feeling like MY STORY, my ups and downs were out there on Front Street for everybody to see but in retrospect I see the good. It seemed like the more I tried to disappear, “Go Ghost”, the more visible I became and drew people to me.  Wow… I didn’t realize how much my story inspired so many loved ones and strangers. At first, I was afraid to open up, I felt ashamed that “Miss Chloé, The Perfectionist” actually had a weak link. How would I be judged? I then realized that me helping another woman was more important than my own ego. I began to tell share my journey (both geographical and emotional) to help them on their path to finding the ultimate love of their lives… Themselves.  

The key to my recovery was not getting over it. I got through the breakup for it is a process that built my character and encouraged my faith. I took the good and the bad from relationships and then found Me…The Me Before He.

There is so much wisdom gained in a struggle.  James Baldwin even alluded to the beauty in a struggle, I can attest to this persuasion because you never, never give up. 

I learned so much about myself after relationships came to an end in my life.  I have given myself the permission to reflect and say to my past, “Thank-you.”  Those pages of my story still have an imprint on my life to this day but has not left a stain on my heart… 

Forgiveness for you…but I say never forget. Every trial has a purpose and a lesson-plan. Those lessons are meant to teach you… I believe my purpose at this place in time is to help you understand that this isn’t the end for you. Not so! It is truly the beginning of the improved you… 

How? I’ve learned that there is a beauty in transparency… like sparkling water it can be cleansing for the soul… I am Chloe Howard and in the spirit of love, kindness and wellness I am willing to share with you some of the most vulnerable stages of my life. I am okay with it, for I realize that this thing (my purpose) is so much bigger than me…

Like many of you, upon reflection, there were many dark times for me, sad times, seasons of naivety but joyful times as well. Joyful experiences sometimes carry isolated episodes of euphoric delusion that suppresses a multitude of warning signs that say “No” or “Go” or “Stop”.  Nevertheless, every question, worry, every tear, thought and fear that I had I will share with you along with every motivation and lesson learned. Because this work is my passion and prayer, I am confident that our mindset and heart of hearts will align and then you will see, you were never alone…

I might not know you personally but as a friend I will go turn back the pages of my experience to give you clarity. Perhaps you will see yourself.  Then I will show you how I left the past…explored the world while finding myself…  

There are just a couple of things that you must promise me when entering my Safe Haven; there will be no regrets, no shame, no fear and no hate… Just forgiveness, forward thinking, openness and honesty.

With these promises I will hold your hand and guide you in creating your own map to find “The Me Before He”….

~Chloe~

3 Reasons Why These Hoes Ain’t Loyal

Chris Brown is doing numbers with his song “Loyal.” I can’t even front, I am a huge fan of the song, it has a dope beat and Lil Wayne spits a verse that is too hard not to rap every word to. However, after seeing plenty of memes and hearing men discuss how “these hoes aint loyal,” I felt the need to write this article.

So. Here’s three reasons why these “hoes aint loyal.”

1. We don’t have to be – now I say “we” not because I am classifying myself as a hoe, but because the way the term is used on the song – they are clearly referring to “females.” Period. Now, the point is that a man should never make you feel as if you have to be “loyal” just because you have a vagina. We see it, hear it all the time about how women need to be loyal and women don’t hold men down. While all men aren’t trifling, it’s funny that the majority of men who expect this loyalty from women usually are. Boy bye. 

2. Men aren’t loyal – NOT ALL men, but as I previously stated the majority of men who talk about “these hoes aint loyal” are the same ones flirting with another chick while they have a “main” “girlfriend” at home. So, the truth is you as a woman do not owe your loyalty to any man that is not giving you the same in return. That whole “ride or die” theory went out the window when Bonnie and Clyde got shot up.

3. We make our own decisions – If you are not in a committed, monogamous relationship with someone then you do not have to feel as if you owe them anything. I don’t care what people say about a woman’s body being her temple, or whatever. You make your own decision. Don’t let a man make you feel as if you’re not a loyal woman, because you choose to casually date. Or because you leave the unemployed man for the one with the job. You have the right to make your own decisions just as any other single man does. Just remember that you have to live with them.

Take that Chris Breezy…

Disagree? Comment below and let me know what you think. 

~Jaleesa Lashay~

Cowherd’s Corner: Trust

Ernest Hemingway was once quoted saying, “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” In the same vein, the late Maya Angelou once uttered the words, “Have enough courage to trust love one more time and always one more time.” If you have not picked up where this corner is going, then just trust me and know that it’s going to be a good one.

For those who have been following this column since day one, you may have read the previous sentence and just went with the flow. For those who may be new or have only read this column a few times, there might have been some skepticism on reading further. Nonetheless, I assure you that there is trust in my words.

Trust is the foundation of ALL relationships, and the truth is that it begins with you. Trusting in yourself to love and be vulnerable is a conversation and realization that you must come to by yourself. No one said it better than Lauryn Hill when her voiced blessed our eardrums with the line, “How you gone win when you ain’t right within?” Now. If you’re still not following, pay attention, and read further.

As we move forward in life, meet new people and date, the question, “Can I trust this person?” always lingers. That person may tell you, you may find out on your own, or someone just looking to tear y’all apart may tell you some information (even if it was in the deep past) that deters and tarnishes something extremely special – your trust. When your trust and faith in a person is strong, and your relationship is based on a solid foundation of trust, regardless of adversity, you and your significant other will always come out strong and on top.

Now, let’s begin first with your trust in God or whichever Higher Being you believe in. You have to trust that your God brought this about not to tear you down, but to build you up. God is not one to tear you down without giving you the sense and tools to help build yourself up and out of your own circumstances, BUT you have to take the time to see the full picture.

Second, you must trust the words that your significant other speaks from his or her mouth.  Communication is imperative in keeping a relationship strong and honest, but recognize that the communication must be of truth. Once the truth is spoken, you will know that truth is what you are receiving. Third, trust in yourself and the fact that you have the sense to know when shit is not right.

Unfortunately, trust is a gift that does not keep giving back once tarnished. If someone trusts you, you should hold on to that and cherish it because it is truly precious. In these times, it is extremely difficult to trust with social media, screenshots, and just the overall lack of respect people have for one another. By keeping your guard up, yes, you are protecting yourself, but you’re also guarding yourself from something that can change your entire perspective on life. Trust that.

As I close this corner, if you do not take anything from it, please trust me when I say you are a beautiful being, and your light shines for a reason. Do not keep it bottled up. Let it out, and let love, sorrow, happiness, pain, whatever, let it all in to help build character and a better, stronger you.

Until next time, keep your finances and emotions in order. 

– Cowherd

The Key is to Never Sweat the Next Chick

So what exactly does that mean? We’ve seen women post on Instagram and Twitter about how they don’t ever sweat or worry about the next chick, but what exactly does that mean. As a woman who likes to put myself in that category, (those who don’t worry about another woman) I’d like to think it means having complete and total confidence in yourself. BUT it’s not that simple.

Your confidence has to be deep enough to where it’s slightly cocky. You have to understand that you have absolutely no reason to sweat the next chick. If you’re struggling with building this confidence – here’s four reasons why you shouldn’t worry about the next woman.

She doesn’t have the total package: If you’re a woman that has the total package, you need to fully understand that there are few women who do, and the fact is that the reason why your man is dealing with you is because of what you offer. So….in hindsight realize that he will meet a chick with a better body, but she won’t have the personality.

He may meet a chick with a great personality, but she won’t have her stuff together. He may meet a chick that has her stuff together, but she won’t give him his space…AND if he just so happens to meet a woman that has all of that stuff, she won’t be a freak and will be unable to sexually satisfy him. So, essentially – you will never find a chick that looks better, has a great personality, has her stuff together and can sexually stimulate you. Period.

There’s just as many men out there: Basically. It’s no need to sweat the next chick or worry about what he’s doing, because it will eventually come to light. Either he will slip up and get caught, or he will be tired of your relationship and end it. The fact is that for every other chick you think he could leave you for or be attracted to, there’s an equally attractive dude. AND it’s easier for women to get what they want than men. Remember that.

She’s not sweating you: Period. Because if she were she wouldn’t be interested in the same dude as you.

You can’t control men: Regardless of anything, you cannot control a man and what he does. You can control what you tolerate, and you can set the tone for how he will treat you. However, there’s no need to train him or have to worry about every time he goes out or meets another attractive woman. He will meet attractive women, you will meet attractive men. If a relationship is jeopardized it has everything to do with the people involved, and not that one chick you’re sweating. 

~Jaleesa Lashay~

5 Reasons To Ignore Her “Thinking About You” Text

So I typically post articles from a woman’s perspective about men and their behavior. However, I’ve recently noticed a trend that I wanted to provide commentary on. Fellas – how many of you all get those “just thinking about you texts.” You know, the ones from that ex-girlfriend, or the chick who has you in the friend zone, or the girl you love that played you?

The truth is that no matter your appearance, height, weight, etc. you have received that text from a chick recently. The unfortunate fact of the matter is that the majority of you all entertain these texts. Whether it’s by engaging in conversation or simply acknowledging them.

Now, I am here to shut all that down. Women are naturally manipulative beings – even good women are and I’m here to give you five reasons why you need to IGNORE her “thinking about you” texts. Yes. Even if she’s beautiful.

1. They serve no purpose….

Seriously. Okay, she thought about you, but what is the true purpose in her sharing that information with you? It’s clearly not because she’s interested in seeing you, because she would have said that. The only reason why she is letting you know this is so that she can stay on your mind, and you can continue to remind her that at least some dude is thinking about her and will flatter her with a comment on two.

2. She’s probably with the next n****

She’s texting you telling you that she is “thinking about you,” but she’s not giving you any quality time besides an occasional text or two. This is because while she is sitting there texting you, she is probably just wasting time until the dude she’s interested in responds to the text that she sent him three hours ago. Don’t be that “pass the time” dude.

3. Because you shouldn’t boost her ego…

It’s all a game. All of a sudden she may be feeling insecure because she hasn’t been getting the attention that she is used to, so she decides to reach out to that one dude to kind of flatter him and say she’s thinking about him (this is you btw), but she not really about to give him some, but who cares she knows he will text back. Don’t boost her ego. Period.

4. She’s being manipulative…

She is using a tactic or text shall I say to stay on your mind. So, while you chilling with your new chick you get a text from this b**** saying that she is “thinking about you.” Then all of a sudden your new girl is pissed off, and while you sitting there having to hear her mouth…it’s all because of a chick that’s not even still interested in you. She’s being manipulative period. She is trying to remind you that she exists and she should be on your mind. Don’t let her get away with that.

5. Because she isn’t f***** you…

Period. I mean, I know it isn’t all about sex, but the truth is that too many of y’all dudes – even the ones who are getting some – sit there and let women use them. Or let women make y’all out to be some sap dudes, because y’all over here putting women on a pedestal, that they may not necessarily deserve to be on. Y’all have no intimate connection besides these occasional conversation. She’s not giving you none. She doesn’t plan on it. She may have given you some in the past, but trust and believe while she’s trying to be all in your inbox she’s giving it up to the dude who doesn’t even respond to her messages. If she’s not trying to take it a step further – cut her off. All she is doing is getting in your head, and that’s all a distraction to your progress in life.

Long story short – next time a chick that you haven’t been involved with for some time sends you a “thinking about you text.” Tell her “Thanks for sharing. Hope all is well, but you don’t have to let me know every time you think about me.”

Comment below and let me know your thoughts!  

 

~Jaleesa Lashay~

Cowherd’s Corner: Honest

It seems that everyone has their set of standards, but we need to be honest. Some of you have standards that do not match up with the person you are or the life that you live. Honesty is an element of life that we often expect from others before we take the time to be honest with ourselves. Why is that? Why do we put so much into our expectations of others than ourselves? Some might say it’s just human nature; I say its convenience.

The ease to conveniently blame someone for your shortcomings is something some of us do quite too often. You have to want to be accountable and in control of your own life. You have to be honest about what you’re ready and willing to put back out into the world. If all you have to offer is a bunch of Instagram pictures, Tumblr posts, and Retweetable memes, eh, you’re coming up short. There’s so much in life to give and live for – things that sound like a much more worthy cause than a detailed description of a follower count or a number of likes.

You want a God-fearing man, but you only go to church when your hangover from Saturday isn’t too bad. You want a man that cooks, but you can’t crack an egg without getting the shells in the dish. Dudes want the baddest chicks on Instagram, but are the jealous type. Guys out here running around posing with Hermés belts on, but never touched a tailored suit. Y’all not being honest; they say real recognize real, and for some of you, real is still waiting to be recognized in you fraudulent lames.

Being honest with yourself allows you to clearly see the world as it is given to you and help filter the people that you allow into your life. If you are constantly lying and burying the truth, you are not going to be able to see the snakes in the grass. Honesty within one’s self attracts an honest lifestyle.

Now, this is not to say that I have not had my share of dishonest moments, but I will say that I have learned the hard way and had to change some things around. Being honest with who you are allows the blessing of finding true and honest love, whether platonic or intimate. Keep lying to yourself and setting bullshit standards, and you’re going to be dealing with the same dudes/females that have more social media followers than dollars in their account.

Until next week, keep your finances and emotions in order.

-Cowherd

The Seven Types of Men You Should Never Date

Okay. So you know how they have the seven deadly sins? Well, there are seven if not more types of men that a woman should never date. Now, I guess if I am going to recommend never dating the types of men listed below – we first have to define what dating means.

With that being said, when I say date, I simply mean “become emotionally invested” in. To be honest, some of the men below are okay to have sex with – I won’t necessarily judge you for it, but you should NEVER become emotionally invested in any of them. Some people will argue that a woman cannot have sex without becoming emotionally involved. That’s for you to decide. 

The Lame One

Some women find lame men sexy (I’m not talking to you), but my advice to every other women don’t even go there. Now, I don’t mean the unique one, the one who may be different than other men. The one who may be in tune with his artistic or even sensitive side. I am talking about the one who is socially awkward. The one who never got any play until he came to college. My reason – this is the man that you sleep with and become emotionally invested in, thinking that because he is lame he will wife you and treat you amazingly. FALSE. This is the first one that will turn around and play you and tweet it, to make up for all the girls who played him in high school. Stay away ladies. Besides he don’t have no game anyways. Don’t sleep with him. It’s a waste of your precious body. 

The Disrespectful One (Yeah You)

Oh. You ladies love the disrespectful ones. Now, when I say disrespectful one, I am not talking about the guy who tells you to shut up sometimes. Sometimes we need to be told to shut up. I am talking about the one you bring in the house and he doesn’t feel the need to speak first to your family or friends. The one who leaves emoji’s under chicks Instagram pics. You get the point. Why are you wasting your emotions on this man who will only disrespect you? Matter of fact – don’t even sleep with this dude. 

The One who has THAT “EX”

Yea I know, all men in the beginning start off with that ex. I get it, but if you two become an item and time passes and he is still entertaining that girl you need to let that go. It’s no use in spending all your time with him, cutting other dudes off, showing him respect, and he can’t even cut off the ex-girlfriend who acts like she is the ex-wife. I mean I don’t get men – if y’all had a relationship in high school. Let it go. It ain’t even that serious. You a grown man. Give him some time ladies, but have zero tolerance. If he doesn’t check her. Let it go. You can occasionally sleep with this one, but don’t get attached. He’s not going to cut her off if he doesn’t do it within the first year – and even with that you’re being pretty patient.

The Possessive/Broke One

I understand that we all have a moment where we can be slight possessive, but that one dude who is extremely possessive of you “on the low,” you know he’s playing you right? Too often, I see beautiful, attractive, driven young women getting caught up emotionally over a dude who won’t let them go out or do anything – or will make a fuss about it, even though he is out every night at the strip club with his boys. He’s only doing that because he wants his “main” chick to be at home while he’s out doing him. If he doesn’t show you the same courtesy and respect – let that n*gga go. He’s probably doing some dirt. Also – don’t even sleep with him. He puts your health at risk, because he probably doesn’t use protection. 

Side Note: I also identified him as the broke one because usually this man has zero goals or ambition. That’s what makes a man broke – the lack of potential, NOT the amount of money he has. 

The One with the Baby Mama

Do I really have to talk about this one? Unless you are a grown woman – and even then they have problems – you do not need to be bothered. I have yet to come across a young man with a baby momma that is mature enough to let him go and let go of the drama. This always comes with unwarranted drama. You will be laid up with him and his phone will be going off. OR you will be hanging out with him and a chick may even run up on y’all. Not worth it. You can sleep with him occasionally, but only at your house. I don’t think it’s worth it though. 

The One with the Small P**** BUT Big Ego

I’m pretty sure that the majority of women do this. My thing is – why even sleep with a man who can’t physically please you? However, I understand that some women make this dumb mistake. That’s okay. However, if you’re going to have sex with a man who can’t physically please you, he better be the biggest gentleman in the world. He better cater to you, and treat you with nothing but respect. Often we find that the man with the small penis is actually the one who plays you or is disrespectful. That’s my problem! If he’s not going to sexually please you – he has some damn nerves cheating or being disrespectful. Don’t date this man, don’t fall in love with him, and don’t sleep with him. I don’t care. He gets no sympathy from me for where he’s lacking. 

The Hoe

Last but not least. The Hoe. Ladies. Ladies. Ladies. Let me make this clear. If a man is messing with other women, BUT he is giving you the D it is okay to sleep with him, if you’re think it’s worth it. However, you HAVE to learn how to emotionally disconnect from him. If you can’t. Let it go! If you are invested and he is sexually pleasing you, you will find yourself going crazy and checking his phone and trying to monitor things that are beyond your control. The truth is that a relationship with a man is all about his timing. The hoe is not ready. When he is ready – he will wife the chick that didn’t tolerate all that he did to her. Let it go. F*** him and keep it moving. If you think you’re in love. Run. 

~Jaleesa Lashay~

FYI: If you think your guy falls into one of these categories – send me an email JaleesaLashay@gmail.com , and I will share my advice (keeping your name anonymous of course). 

 

 

 

 

Cowherd’s Corner: Denial

Guys have a tendency to not accept reality about their situation with a particular female. Making excuses of why they won’t make it official, why she isn’t the right one, along with a host of other things. This sparked my interest in writing an article about in denial. Being in denial is the standard for guys, and is probably stored somewhere in our DNA.

We can definitely have a great thing/relationship going and just deny it like it isn’t happening. But the question is why, why is it so hard to accept a good thing for what it is and let it prosper? I don’t really have the answer, because frankly I’m just as guilty as the next man.

I think it comes down to timing in a guy’s life, his level of maturity, and what he’s looking for from a female. Now, this isn’t all about the guy because it takes two to tango but from what I have experienced in my life and my friends’ the female can become emotionally invested quicker than the guy.

I recognize that this is not always the case but it is the majority of the time. Guys like to be in control and that definitely plays into when we are ready to accept a situation for what it is and not for what she wants it to be. It isn’t that we won’t become emotionally invested, it’s just that more time is needed.

With that being said, some dudes are just dead wrong. If you deny her in front of the homies, but she left something at your crib and your first move when you realized it wasn’t to hit her up and ask when she coming to get it, you’re in denial.

If a female leaves something at a males crib that clearly appears as if it belongs to a female and you could care less, but you’re still telling people that it’s not serious, you are probably in denial. She leaves her toothbrush and you smile a bit knowing that now she has to come back – no need for the denial.

These types of scenarios can also involve a guy who just does not give a fuck, but that’s not who I’m writing this for. Our circle of friends can potentially dictate how open we are about a situation. The homies opinions means so much, without their stamp of approval – making it official is on halt. Did you make a side eye reading those last two sentences? If you found yourself agreeing, you are a weary individual. Being able to have your significant other involved with your friends I feel is important, but damn sure is not the deciding factor. If that is the case for male/female, then you have some self-evaluating to do.

Being in denial can also tie back into being in control. By being in denial, we are controlling our thoughts and how other people view the situation. We are also making an attempt to dictate and control the way a female pursues moving forward with us. It’s a tired game of cat and mouse and somehow that old saying “hind sight is 20/20” never means so much until you end up settling with a female who isn’t a tenth of what you denied previously.

I mean..sometimes it does payoff to be in denial, after you, she ends up having two kids with two different guys and on section 8. On the flip side, you could end up denying a good thing with the wrong person and she ends up being the next Oprah, Laurie Ann Goldman, or even simpler than the money, she was just the right one.

It’s a cold truth to accept when you might be in your prime, but what if you really find a female that matches up? If so, just go with it, you’ll be surprised how she helps you grow and can help you potentially be a better man all-around. Until next week, keep your finances and emotions in order. 

– Cowherd

Cowherd’s Corner: Loyalty

Several things that have occurred in my life whether recently or in my past have encouraged me to write this post entitled “Loyalty.” The truth is that everybody is not loyal, nor does everyone have your best interest at heart. However, the important part is to remain loyal to yourself.

What I have come to realize is that most loyal people either have something to lose if they are disloyal or have everything to gain from it. Let me explain.

Take myself for example. I have a group of friends who are aware that I would do anything for them. In return, they continuously motivate me and keep me grounded whenever I get carried away. Our relationship is truly give and take. However, I’ve realized that some of you all are not as fortunate to have such relationships.

A sense of loyalty is not something that one develops immediately. It takes time, and slowly comes into play as you go through the trenches with someone. The fact is that people carefully select who they will be loyal to whether it is to themselves, their family, their friends, or even inanimate objects.

Loyalty often comes with a price and when the act of disloyalty affords a greater reward that is when the shit can hit the fan. We all know when someone is a disloyal individual, but sometimes we are just blind to the signs. We naturally tend to look for the best in people, and so we find ourselves giving second chances and letting things slide.

If you are someone who tends to do this, is it disloyalty that is an issue or is it your inability to be cut throat and get rid of the toxic person? Unfortunately, it is human nature to want to see the best in people and to believe whatever bullshit they’re pitching to you about their fuck up and how it won’t ever happen again. However, sometimes the situation gets so bad that a second chance shouldn’t be given.

The jig is up Cletus (Cletus sounds like a person always juggin’); it is important to take the necessary steps to protect yourself and the things you love. When a disloyal person comes across your path and infiltrates your circle you must do what must be done. Often, you don’t even have to cut a person off, you just need to be honest with yourself and realize what you can and can’t trust with someone.

While someone can sincerely argue that people are loyal in their own respect and in different circumstances. While nobody is perfect, the truth is that people will be people.

I’d even argue that it is better to cut your losses before you cut a person; however, I do recognize that some people would rather get even then walk away. Fortunately, we have too much life to live than to be worried about getting even and not getting right within. The truest form of loyalty is the loyalty you hold to yourself and your beliefs, ideals, and morals. Once those weaken, finding true loyalty becomes that much more of a distant illusion.

Until next week, keep your finances and emotions in order. 

– Cowherd

 

Cowherd’s Corner: Commitment

Last week, there was a large discussion on Twitter regarding marriage, $1200 dates, and the “tackiness” of twerking in or out of a relationship with opinions varying from north to south per usual. All of that prompted me to think, what does it mean to be committed to our generation?  The answer I came up with was interestingly enough a question – “What do you have?”

It is too often that we view someone on the surface, and without hesitation, a subconscious question of “What do you have?” comes about. How many followers do you have? What kind of car do you have? What kind of swag do you have? Do you have swag? Do you have the “it” factor I’m looking for?

The truth is. Why don’t we stop and ask ourselves, “what can I give?” Can I give myself to this person and still not lose who I am in the process? Can I give my finances and my time to one person and build an empire that the gods would envy? With all the distractions of the world, how are we expected to focus on just one person? I don’t think we are; I think we are supposed to open ourselves up and give all that we can and hope and pray for the best.

It is a lot easier to take and continue to take from someone who has it to give, than it is to give and give. That is the easy way out, and no one can blame you for that. It’s human nature. However, we have to challenge ourselves to be better and know that whatever we have to give, no matter how big or small, it means something, period.

Commitment is extremely hard in today’s day and age where being fake and flexing will get you a lot further with people than honesty and genuine interest. With the odds stacked against you, it makes it easier to put on a façade, particularly for someone who’s on to the next once you’re old news. We all want to be wanted. We are social beings, but at what cost are you willing to be accepted and loved? Only you, my friend, can answer that question.

Here’s what I can give: I can give an overbearing opinion, an honest opinion that is more of a turnoff than it is a quality characteristic. I can give mixed signals at times, and I can give headaches that’ll make you question becoming a lesbian.  My overbearing opinion of your beauty and confidence is something I can give. My honesty that keeps you grounded and focused is what I can give you. The mixed signals are not about my commitment to you but whether I deserve a being as miraculous as you.

Oh……………….and the headaches, well, that just comes with the territory of commitment. I can give you me, a man that is comfortable in his skin and knows that every decision he makes is one he is ready to bear the cross of the consequences. I can give you a man who’s made his fair amount of mistakes, has grown, and is still growing. A man that can commit to this thing called “us” and create something so real, haters cannot help but flock. Now, I ask you, what can you give?

Until next week, beautiful people, keep your finances and emotions in order.  

– Cowherd